5 Years and Counting: A Poodle is a Girl's Best Friend (Part 1)

Our sweet Ella. She turned 5 on February 14th. Thinking back to a time when she wasn't with me is kind of like remembering some sort of fuzzy former existence. But it's also hard to accept that she's already been here for five whole years.

Sometimes it seems like just yesterday that I was sitting in her pink chenille rocking chair in her fully completed nursery, hands on my gigantic belly, rocking, dreamily imagining what it would be like to meet her for the first time. It feels like a blinked a few times. And she's five.

I can get all sad and melancholy about it...about the speed with which these sacharine sweet, dear years are passing by. But when that happens I usually just to just shake it off. I remind myself how extraordinarily blessed I am to have the blessing of being Ella and Kate's mom. How fortunate I am to have the gift of seeing them grow -- physically, emotionally, mentally -- year after year. I just kind of want to rewind and get to live it all again. But I then remind myself of the saying "gratitude is when what you have is enough..." and I realize that being grateful means living in the present instead of wishing you could get to do the past again, a second time. (I think I'm kind of gluttonous that way.)

So maybe that's why I love my girls' birthday celebrations so much. It's my way of welcoming another beautiful year in their beautiful little lives. And maybe it's also my way of focusing on the 'happy' part of birthdays so I can prevent myself from thinking about the bittersweet feeling that every Feb. 14 brings, as my little Ella Bella grows another year older.

"Mommy, do I have to go away to college?" she will sometimes ask. "Can I bring Poodle?" "Well, you don't HAVE to go away to college. You can live with me and Daddy as long as you like," I always answer. Knowing that in far too few years, it will no longer be a question if she 'has' to go away, but when and where she 'gets' to go. "And of COURSE you can bring Poodle. He'd miss you if you didn't bring him a long."

This little girl LOVES her Poodle. Poodle has been with Ella since before she was born. He was a gift from my cousin Kayley and Aunt Maria. (This is my grown-up Ella with cousin Kayley. And Poodle.)

 

The moment I saw Poodle, all dressed in a pink and turquoise plaid dress (to match Ella's nursery), I remember quietly hoping that she'd be 'the one' Ella chose as her favorite. Like the Velveteen Rabbit. (This is my little peanut Ella. In her very first photo with the brand new, crisp, white-white, fluffy poodle.)

It's sweet and funny and pretty amazing to me that Ella did, indeed, choose Poodle as her favorite. Let me tell you, if ever a stuffed animal has been loved enough to make it real...it's this particular poodle.

Poodle sleeps with Ella every night. Without exception. Poodle has been to Disney World and Hilton Head and to the Bahamas. He's taken countless trips to Grandma's house. Spent the night at Nana's.

Although Ella uses the pronouns "he" and "him" to refer to Poodle, she dresses 'him' mostly in girlie clothes. He has a Cinderella dress, a ballet dress, a cupcake 'party' dress that matches one of Ella's. He has a leopard nightgown, several pairs of mary jane shoes (and some glass slippers.) A hot dog halloween costume and a green pilot's hat and red scarf like the one Snoopy wears when impersonating the Red Baron. He's eaten many a breakfast and lunch and dinner right next to Ella. If not under her arm, then in his very own high chair.

Every morning when Ella wanders into my room, or the bathroom, or into the kitchen when she wakes...Poodle is always, always under one of her arms as she rubs her eyes with her other hand. Poodle is sometimes a pillow. Sometimes a prop. Always Ella's best friend. Poodle has been pushed on many a swing. He's been a passenger in the driver's seat of the Barbie Jeep at Grandma and Papa's house. He's been an employee at Ella and Kate's lemonade stand. He's served as a tissue for both tears and, while I wish it weren't so, for snot too.

 

Poodle even has a cousin, aptly called "Poodle's cousin." Poodle's cousin arrived here several years ago, thanks to eBay. Ella had lost Poodle when she was 2. We couldn't find him anywhere and she was despondent. She was just heartbroken with despair. She'd lay in her big girl bed with tears quietly rolling down her cheeks, unable to sleep without her best friend. I called Build a Bear's local stores. I called their national headquarters. They didn't make white poodles anymore. I found one on eBay, paid close to $100 for it to be overnighted to us, in the hopes Ella would believe that I had found 'her' Poodle. She took one look at the crisp white, cuddly soft, perfect poodle and said, "That's not my Poodle." I can't believe I ever thought I could trick her into thinking otherwise.

A couple days later, Ella's nanny, "Rah Rah," who is an extraordinary finder, found the real Poodle. He was mysteriously wedged in between the wall and the headboard of a bed that was in the playroom. It's hard to explain how relieved we were that Ella was reunited with her Poodle. How comforting it was to come home from work that day and see Ella walking around with Poodle under her arm, once again. (The real Poodle and Poodle's cousin.)

So maybe it was nostalgia...wanting to hold on to Ella's Poodle-loving days....wanting to make them last at least a decade more :-), that made me want to have a Poodle themed birthday party to mark her turning the give '5 years old.' More to come about the Poodle Party in my next post!