Here's why I heart Chris Schumacher

So, most of the time on this blog, I talk about my girls and how much I adore them and how grateful I am to have them in my life. Well, Ella's birthday is on Valentine's Day. And I LOVE that her birthday is on Valentine's Day. The one and only minor drawback is that Chris and I focus so much on her birthday AND on making sure Valentine's Day is special for both girls that we don't make much of a big deal over 'our' Valentine's Day.

Which is fine, really, since there are also 364 other days of the year during which I can tell and show this guy all the reasons I heart him.

This year, I tried to make a list of all the reasons I love Chris Schumacher. I found a 'how to make words in the shape of a heart using Microsoft Word' pin on Pinterest and thought it'd be such a great V-day gift. The only two problems? I couldn't figure out the instructions AND the list got so long that I was pretty sure it wouldn't all fit in a one-page heart, anyway.

So I thought I'd magnify the love and post this "All the reasons I love Chris Schumacher" list to my blog, and, maybe even Facebook. Cheesy and public as it is, I figure it's OK, since I'm not usually into PDA.

Happy Valentine's Day, Chris Schumacher. I really, really dig you.



I love you because you are everything I never knew I always needed. I love you because you are the yin to my yang. I love you because you said one word, “Wow,” when I opened the door on our official first date. I love you because, when I put my head on your shoulder on that first date, I could hear and feel your heart pounding through your chest. I love you because you took me on long rides down winding roads with Matt Nathanson playing as we drove. I love you because you said you knew you loved me the day I gave you a simple, kind-of-dorky, hand-made collage on a $.99 flower pot.

I love you because you once had a different life. And when it didn’t work out, you closed that door and let your heart be open to opening a new door. And it’s that bravery and openness and hopefulness that allowed me to find you. It’s what allowed us to find this amazing life. I love that you’re zen, and that you don’t hold grudges and that you’re never quick to anger. I love that you are kind. And generous. And ridiculously smart. And at the same time, so humble. I love that when you hear that someone has a need, your first instinct is to want to fill it. I love that you have a grateful heart. I love that you know how fortunate we are. And that you demonstrate that gratitude by giving back, in big ways.

I love you because you still love me, even though I have really, really bad breath – especially in the morning and late at night. Even though most of the time we’re together, my hair is in a bun on top of my head and I’m in mismatched pajamas. I love that you have never, ever once tried to make me feel – or be – smaller, or less than the person I am. I love that nothing about my big, sometimes overwhelming, bossy personality has ever intimidated you. I love you for making possible this life that we live together. This simple but abundant and happy life that exceeds anything I had imagined as a child, a teenager or even a young adult.

I love you for your passion and your drive for succeeding at everything you do. And I love that you can be that passionate and driven – but also hilariously funny, and calming, and down-to-earth, and real – all at the same time. I love you for always looking fondly back at our past but always looking on to ‘what’s next.’ I love that you want to see the world, and that we’ve already seen so many beautiful places together. I love you for starting a savings plan for our daughters’ education, and weddings, before they were born. I love you for always following through with your promises. I love you for loving being a great husband and incredible dad.

I love you for asking the girls, every morning of their lives, if they slept tight and if they let the bed bugs bite. I love you for never raising your voice at our girls. And for melting and immediately caving in when, because you speak to them with a stern look on your face, they burst into tears. I love you for refusing to ever miss a special day, or a dance performance, or an opportunity to volunteer at school. I love that you assign the same level of adoration to hot dogs and prime rib.

I love watching you meet new people. I love the way you make everyone you meet immediately feel at ease. I love that you are never rude. And that you (politely) tell me when I am. I love the way you remain calm and cool every time I lose my keys and am running around the house bitching that I can't find them. And I love that when you do find them for me, you just hand them over without saying a word.

I love you for supporting me in being and becoming whatever inspires me. I love you for teaching me how to remove unnecessary drama from my life, and for teaching me that it's better, sometimes, to be happy than to be right.

I love that you'll always talk with me about anything...but that you pretty much refuse to argue. I love that you have taught me that loving someone means trying to understand that person's point of view; not beating them over the head with yours.

I love you for simultaneously being self-deprecating and self-confident. And for tolerating my political opinions and my occasional crabbiness and my never-ending list of home improvement needs. I love that you’d go on a date night any day, any time I’d ask. And that you are just as content watching Parenthood and Sons of Anarchy and American Horror Story with me, and going to bed at 11 p.m. I love you for running toward that burning man instead of driving by him, and I love you more for thinking about and praying for and visiting that same man, loyally, since the day you met him.

I love you for surprising me with a vacation in paradise for our 5 year anniversay. And for not complaining when you had to pay a ridiculous fee because I asked you to change it from 10 days to 7 because I couldn't bear to be away from the girls for that many days.

I love you for the way you adore your father, for the way you make your mother laugh, and for the way you send your brothers awful birthday presents like posters of Milli Vanilli bathing together in a metal tub. I love you for the way you treasure your friendships with your elementary school buddies, and for the special place you keep in your heart for all the memories you made with them as a child and really irresponsible teenager.

I love you for never making me feel guilty for buying a pretty dress, or a frilly pillow I don't need, or yet another hair bow for the girls when they already have one hundred, even though you’re a financial advisor.

I love that you make me want to be a better person.

And I love you for constantly surprising me by still, amazingly, finding new ways to become an even better man. I love you because you are everything I never knew I always needed. I love you because you make me The Luckiest.

Stealing unicorns

As I've mentioned dozens of times before, the entire reason I started this blog was that I was so very inspired by Kelle Hampton (www.kellehampton.com), this awesome, inspiring, beautiful, cool, smart, creative, compassionate, bold, kind, generous heart who, by sharing her life online, inspires me to want to become a better person and a better mom. (Thank you, dear Cathy, for sending her blog to me 2+ years ago!)

Today Kelle posted about her darling daughter Nella's second birthday party; which was equally darling. But the post before that, she was talking about her love of little girl birthday parties.

My Ella Bella's 4th birthday party is this Sunday. And I have to agree with Kelle...my version of heaven definitely involves planning and attending lots of birthday parties for grateful and gleeful little girls.

This year, Ella decided she wanted a unicorn party. Unicorns, to me, are kind of psychadelic and 70s...but not necessarily in a cool or retro way. I tried to plant seeds of support for other party themes...'wouldn't she rather have a POODLE birthday party? Especially since her very best friend in the whole world is a white (and now quite raggedy but exceptionally loved) white poodle,' I would inquire. To no avail.

I spent hours upon hours searching for birthday party ideas on Pinterest and Etsy. Showed Ella bunches of photos of a variety of themes, hoping to sway her away from the unicorn theme. Like I imagine an interior designer persuading a client not to purchase a bright green shag carpet. Without outright insulting the design aspects of green shag carpet.

But alas, I reminded myself that Ella is 4. That she LOVES unicorns, thanks to my mom, who bought her "The Last Unicorn" movie last year. She doesn't yet care about 'cool'....or what's 'in.' She doesn't want a Selena Gomez party or a Miley Cyrus party. Those days will come to soon, and at that point, I may need to exercise my mom-veto and select a more appropriate theme. One, for example, that might make me feel less like having a heart attack.

But, I told myself, "Self, it's kind of cool that Ella just randomly decided that she loves unicorns and wants a unicorn party. And if unicorns are ever going to be cool, well, they may as well be the bees knees when she's 4." So I'm not going to steal her unicorn. She can believe in, and adore, whatever she wants at age 4. As long as 'whatever she wants' doesn't include half-naked Disney TV teen stars.

So I've spent (more) countless hours on Pinterest and Etsy and the general oblivion called Google, searching for unicorn and rainbow party inspiration. And I love every minute of it. It doesn't feel like work. It's not exhausting. It's not annoying. I LOVE this stuff. In an 'I know it's kind of ridiculous and maybe even geeky, but I really don't care' kind of way.

Most of all, I love showing Ella different party elements as I work on them. Her rainbow skirt came in the mail one day from Etsy -- she smiled ear to ear and ran in place when she saw it. "I LOVE you, Mommy! I LOVE you! Thank you! Thank you!"

Her unicorn horn came a few days later in the mail. "You mean only the birthday girl gets to wear a special unicorn horn, Mommy? Really? I love it!"

She asks if she can watch me make 14 princess birthday party hats and crepe paper wands; if she can help me put together the make-your-own-rainbow party craft. Patiently watches me paint a 5-foot-tall number "4," and decorate it with polka dots in every color of the rainbow. "It's beautiful, Mommy! I love watching you paint. It's my favorite."

We look at photos on Pinterest together and she helps me choose what the cake should look like. We count down the days to her party. She feels like the most special girl in the world that ALL of her grandparents will be at the party; and that two sets of them are driving in from out of town to have a sleep over, just so they can be here.

Growing up, I always knew I wanted to have children. But I never really thought about things like this....how much joy and fulfillment I would one day find, in relatively simple things like planning the birthday party of my very big little girl.

But I love it. I love finding dozens of details that will make Ella smile. I love how special her parties make her feel. I love seeing her face walk into the party, just as I'm putting the finishing touches on the cake table. I love seeing her greet her guests with a curtsy and run around for the full 2.5 hours with a non-stop smile.

I love that she doesn't associate birthdays with presents, per se, but with a celebration....a special celebration that 'magically' includes all the things and activities and foods that make her the happiest...with all the people who love her, and all the people she loves...

I love that she still remembers her 3rd birthday party and can still talk about all its special details. And I hope that years from now, she also remembers her unicorn party...and all its pscychadelic, 1970s details (because there really is no such thing as a modern unicorn)...and how much fun we had planning it together....just the same.

I'm grateful for awesome mommas like my BFF Heidi -- who first captured my imagination with the beautiful, sweet, inspiring fairy-themed first-birthday party she threw for her eldest daughter, and all the amazing little girl birthday parties she's hosted since. I'm grateful for creative mommas like Kelle Hampton, and for my sister-in-law Brittany Schwaigert who loves this little-kid-party-planning stuff so much that she started her very own company (www.GreyGreyDesigns.com) so she could literally make this stuff her job!

And I'm most thankful to God for giving me two healthy, beautiful, grateful little girls for whom I can spend obscene amounts of time doing things like this, that bring me so much happiness.

Can hardly wait til Sunday. More to come.